


Coming Home

by Rei382



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 02:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21959986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rei382/pseuds/Rei382
Summary: There is nothing better than spending a cold, snowy day cuddled up in warmth.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 13
Kudos: 74





	Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah and happy holidays everyone!

It was nice and cozy. Actually, there was a blizzard going on outside, full on whistling wind and flurries of snow; but inside none of that (except the occasional extra strong whistle) was detectable. And wrapped up in a warm blanket, cuddled up on his boyfriend, listening to his deep voice as he read out the book he was reading to him as they sat on the living-room sofa in front of the fireplace, with the room softly lit from the fire burning and spreading heat and the tree, simple but beautiful, with its red and silver ornaments and string lights, it was nice, warm and cozy. Cozier than Ed could imagine being. Oh, he could stay like this forever. He could…

“Hmm,” the sound rumbled low in Roy’s chest, vibrating against Ed’s head. He could feel Roy’s finger brushing through his hair lightly. “How about you stay here? It’s really cold out there.”

Ed looked up, seeing Roy’s eyes resting on him. The idea was tempting. He glanced at the window and saw the waves of snow hurling against the glass, and then looked back at Roy and the warmth he suggested. And what waited for him at home? Freezing chill and lonely darkness. An empty bed, and those neighbors from the apartment upstairs who always screamed and yelled. 

Very tempting indeed. 

He snuggled closer, wrapping himself tighter in the fluffy blanket that covered them both and let out a content sigh. 

Roy's low chuckle vibrated under Ed's head. "Should I take that as a yes?"

“Mmmf,” was all Ed could produce. Another vibration from underneath his head shook him softly. He heard the _thump_ of the book being closed, felt the stretch in Roy’s body as he put it away, felt him folding back in, and then the light tingle of Roy's fingers stroking through Ed's hair.

"And what if I said that I didn't mean just tonight?"

The question was asked quietly, innocently; so much so that for a moment the meaning of it didn't register in Ed's brain and he was about to reply the same way he did to all previous questions. But then it downed on him what Roy was actually asking him. The calm sleepiness evaporated, making room for a newly discovered anxiety.

Not that he didn't like being with Roy. He'd never been as happy as he was every time Roy held him in his arms, and the idea of waking up every morning to _this_ , to be coming back every evening and expecting Roy to always be there, to end every night in his bed and his arms, was appealing. But... it also meant he will no longer have a place of his own. If they fight (and it happened quite often, and at times, it was _bad_ ), he will no longer be able to run back to his apartment until they both calm down enough to resolve the issues like adults. If - and the mere thought scared Ed, but it was a thought he should have when making such a decision regardless - they broke up, he will be essentially homeless. While he was used to being nomad, he also learned to like that there's a place he can call his own, even though 'home' still was not a word he tended to use.

Roy's chest rose under him, then went back down as he let out a soft sigh. The playful touch through Ed's hair didn't stop. "You don't have to answer right now, if you don't want to. I get that it's a big decision to make and you might need some time."

Time. Yes, taking time to think about it was a good idea. He cuddled closer, lowering his head. Despite Roy giving him permission not to decide right away, it still felt awkward; he still felt like he was disappointing him. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. He wasn't even sure why he said that and a part of him hoped that Roy did not hear it. After all, Roy gave him permission to take his time and told him it was okay. And it really should be: decided to give up on his own place was a big decision. He glanced at the window as he felt a gust of chill air hit him. 

If he decided to say no, that he wasn't ready, Roy will be disappointed. There was no doubt about that; after all, if he asked him, he probably wanted him to say yes. He knew Roy, and appreciated him, and knew that he won't be holding this against him. At least, not consciously. Would they be able to avoid the consequences of such a decision? Will Roy still look at him the same, or will he look at him and think he's not as committed to what they had as Roy was? Ed knew that if he said no, it wasn't because he didn't like being with Roy, or didn't like having him as his lover, or was not proud of him; he strongly felt that he did. He was proud of his man, and there was no place he was happier at than in his arms. 

The light press from Roy's arm, slightly pulling him closer, and the soft kiss on the top of his head told him that his wish did not come true, and more likely than not, Roy has heard him. "For now, tonight is just fine."

That was reassuring enough. Ed knew it should be. Roy wasn't mad at him for not answering right away. He didn't say he was hurt by it. He didn't try to push him away, or tell him to go home, or anything. And yet...

Yet, something about the atmosphere changed. Instead of the cozy warmth, calm and whole, Ed was now aware of the small slit through which the cold air from the outside penetrated the room, and he was aware of his exact position and every breath he drew. Roy's touch on him, comforting before, now felt overbearing almost. He felt like he was overstaying his welcome, even though somewhere inside of him he knew that made no sense.

“Yes,” he said. He opened his eyes, looking at the fire dancing at the fireplace. Welcoming like a warm hug before, it now felt like it was mocking him, daring him to come near and get burnt. He looked away, focusing on the window instead. Frost covered the glass, painting it ugly gray, but not enough to hide the storm raging behind it. He kept staring, watching the white flakes swirling outside.

Suddenly Roy moved under him, lightly taking his arm from behind Ed’s body and leaning him against the sofa instead of his own body. Ed turned his eyes away from the window sharply, looking at Roy who by now already pushed himself off of the sofa. Panic rose inside him – what did he do? Did Roy get mad at him for not giving an answer right away? Did he feel that awkwardness, too? Was he… was he going to ask him to leave now? “I’m going to make some tea. Do you want any?”

Ed blinked. Going to make tea. Just… going to make tea. He nodded. “Yeah, thanks.” He watched Roy walking away. Without him, the room felt even colder. The fire didn’t produce any heat and the walls did not keep the chill outside. He brought his knees up, hugging them as he stared into the fire. Making rushed life-changing decisions was dumb. Leaving himself homeless, trying to find his place in a house someone else has been making his own for longer than Ed was legally allowed to make decisions for himself. All the furniture here was Roy’s: his sense of style, his definition of ‘home’, his books, his mugs, his sheets. Where would Ed’s stuff even go? His library, his clothes, the pictures and little stuff Al and Winry gave him every year for his birthday and for Christmas? None of his sheets would fit anything anymore because Roy’s bed was bigger and he wasn’t sure Roy would want Ed’s plain white dishes among his fancy looking ones and what about his towel that even though it wasn’t even half as soft as Roy’s he still liked it the best and –

And what did any of that matter at all? The thought hit him suddenly. He could hear the rattling of the pot as the water got warm inside it. Ed reached for the book Roy was reading to him from, and his palm brushed over seat next to him. The spot where Roy sat just a moment earlier was still warm, but empty. The thought of not having Roy there with him, the mere thought of going back to his own place, small and cold and ugly as it was, was terrifying. What was he so scared of?

He realized that his fears were irrational. Him and Roy – they’ve been together for over a year now, and they’ve know each other for much longer than that. Except for Al, there was no one in Ed’s life he cared for, trusted, as much as Roy. Not even Winry. Yes, they might have their fights, and they might (Ed dreaded the thought) break up, but… it all seemed so far. Much farther than the way he was feeling only moments ago, wrapped up in Roy’s arms, safe and secure. And it wasn’t like he didn’t have options, if the worst case scenario happens. He had friends in the city. He had Al, south in Resenbool. There were hotels.

The idea of losing Roy right now, scared him much more.

Decisively he pushed himself off of the sofa, ignoring the light pain in his feet from getting up too quickly and landing too strongly, and made his way to the kitchen. Roy was standing there, watching the pot which seemed to be very close to boiling by now. Next to him on the counter there were two mugs, ready to accept the hot water. Even dressed in his plaid pajamas and fluffy sleepers, his hair slightly messy from the back of the sofa, he still looked strong and proud. He looked… like _home_. Ed had no doubts anymore. He closed the distance between them and reached over to touch Roy’s arm, saying his name softly.

Roy turned to look at him, and Ed could see his lips twisting into a smile. “Came to make sure I’m making your tea right? You’d think that after all this time you’d trust me – “

“Yes,” Ed said, cutting into Roy’s words.

It made Roy stop talking, and for a short moment, a questioning look adorned his face; but it only took a moment for realization to down on him, and the wonder turned into a grin. He raised his hand to move a stray hair from Ed’s face. “Yes?”

Ed smiled and took Roy’s hand in his own, bringing it over to his lips to kiss it softly. “Yes. But I’m gonna need some space. For my stuff. For me.”

Roy’s fingers wrapped around Ed’s hand, giving a gentle squeeze. “Of course. I had no intention of having you move in to _my_ home. I wanted you to make this _our_ home. You can bring whatever you want, and we will decide together how to fit everything together. You don’t have to do it right away, either. I want you to move in with me as quickly as possible, but, I also want to be sure you feel at home here. I want to be sure you don’t feel like you’re leaving everything that you consider yours behind just to be with me. Okay?”

On the stove, the pot started shrieking; softly, at first, but it rapidly got louder. “Yeah. Okay,” Ed replied and pulled on Roy’s hand just a little bit closer, enough to place a kiss on his lips. “You gonna have Al’s cats on your shelves, you know he won’t let me get rid of the pictures of his ‘babies’, right?”

Roy chuckled, the air brushing in little waves over Ed’s mouth. “Yes, I am fully aware.”

“And I’m not giving up all my books, so you better find some space for them next to all your books, too.”

“Yes, I know.”

“And I’m going to bring that mug of mine that you really hate but I really like, with the skull – “

Roy’s lips closing on his stopped him mid-sentence. It was a short kiss, but it served its purpose. “You’re not going to make me change my mind just because you own some questionable items,” he smiled. “Now, if you’re done with your, excuse me, rather pathetic attempts to scare me away, there are two cups of tea begging to be made, and one pot of water that has been screaming at us for a while now. Go back to our living-room and get yourself comfortable while I make you your tea.”

 _Our living-room_. The words made Ed smile. It spread some kind of warmth in his chest. “You better make it good,” he said, gave Roy’s hand a squeeze, and headed back to the living-room. Their living-room, in their home, with their sofa and their fireplace.


End file.
